Can I admit something? I have a hard time hanging on to friends. Or at least I feel that way. I seem to know and like tons of people, but I feel as though only a select few people care enough about me to call me their "friend". From elementary school through college, my "best friend"s have come and gone, and none have really seemed to want to stick with me.
I struggled a lot with this when we were first married. None of my old roomates where married. I didn't have a friend to confide in. Thankfully, I had a beautiful older sister to talk to. I still missed my friends. I still do. Especially since I'm no longer in Divine Comedy, I can see me friendships once again slipping into something less than they used to be. I know it's just part of getting married. But sometimes, I feel lonely. Believe it or not, marriage can be a lonely thing sometimes.
I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. The point of the post is to express my indescribable gratitude for my husband. Whenever I make a new friend, this old insecurity comes back. I think "how long will it be until they get sick of me"? Which makes me think, like any other girl, "What the heck is wrong with me?".
That's not how it is with Alex. Not only is he my best friend, but I absolutely know that he always will be. Forever. I can't describe to you what kind of a calm this has given my spirit. I know that someone will always care about my day, will always remember to call me, and more importantly, I know that someone thinks of me always. I want that so badly for everyone, because everyone deserves it. Everyone deserves a best friend forever. I am so grateful for mine. I've never been a huge Valentine' Day person, but I was so overwhelmed today with gratitude for Alex today that I just had to express it somehow.
So Happy Valentine's day! Please know that whoever is reading this, that I love you. I really do. I'm grateful for my friends and family that read this little blog, and I hope that today you can feel the love of the Savior. Because He will be and can be your best friend forever. No matter what. And not only does everyone deserve that, but everyone can find joy in it.
Love to you all!
xo
Nat
(If you recognized that SpongeBob referencein the title then a thousand points to Gryffindor).
i feel bad that i let team gryffindor down, but i've never really watched spongebob! i'll start NOW.
ReplyDeletebeautiful post, nat. love you both!
I totally relate. It's funny that with all our tools and technologies that are supposed to make staying in touch easier, we can still find ourselves feeling completely alone and out of touch. Silly. Thank heavens for marriage and eternal best friends! By the way, I really miss you. Indiana's a bit too far right about now.
ReplyDelete(and on a completely different note, the secret code I have to type to post this is divino. Just like you're divino.)
I'm the same way. I tend to think it's my fault; I'm not good at calling people up just to talk or organizing get togethers. And so friends seem to fade a little once the thing that brought you always together is gone. And as your "best friends" go separate ways, it's harder to confide in them because they might not be experiencing things similar to you. By the way - that's one thing I love about visiting teaching. :) Time reserved to just talk girls to girls! haha. And they usually relate and understand a lot more than you'd think!
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentines Day!
love you Nat!! wonderful post. Also, I secretly feel the exact same way.. funny huh? Especially now that we're in SLC I'm afraid I'll never have any friends!
ReplyDeleteI used to think single people and married people couldn't be friends. But then I have seen it happen, so I know it can work. Effort just has to be made on both sides. Happy Valentine's Day Nat :)
ReplyDeleteTrue that, Court. True that. I miss you! Hope you had a great V Day :)
ReplyDeletei love this post. i feel the same way very very often.
ReplyDeleteDear Natalie,
ReplyDeleteMal and I had yet another conversation about how we want yours and Alex's relationship when we're married. This is another reason why. (: And what's so great about you two is that you both enhance each other. I didn't know Alex before he met you, but I know that you two are so happy and spontaneous and fun together that it makes me excited to marry someone who will help me be a wonderful friend to *everybody* the way you're such a wonderful friend to me. (:
Thanks for giving me something to shoot for.
-Whit